Thoughts on life...

I've never been the kind of kid that studied. I've never felt the need to study maybe because all I was learning was a bunch of crap that I did not care about, maybe because I considered myself too smart for what I was studying; either way I never fit in with all the "good" kids of my town. When I was in High School every single time I woke up to go to school I felt like my day was going to be so unproductive and I have this thing that if I don't do something productive by the end of the day I start feeling "guilty" and I'll keep that depression-type felling for the whole night. Just lately I've discovered that if I do something physical, intellectual, social and work involving I feel balanced by the end of the day. Getting back to the topic, I kept living my life like a parasite, just because my parents were telling me to and because they approved of it. If it was up to me I would have never gone to college, even though I was studying stuff that I cared. I felt like my time was being wasted because those were facts that I could have learned just with a Google search. When I dropped out of college and got a job at a clothing shop in Washington I realized that I had been going through so much pain for nothing. School wasn't for me and it will never be. All the schools go around saying that they "prepare us for our future" when in reality they are just turning us into buckets filled with not useful knowledge. All they ever teach us about is humanistic concepts that wont turn into nothing. They are making us cultured people but they are not teaching me how to use it in order to "survive". What I mean by survive is make money, because at the end of the day what matters is money and everything we learn or know must turn into money, it's sad but it's true. So getting back to the original point (I know I ramble a lot) all I ever learned in school was notions that I've never used in my life. As I am laying here on my chaise long with a beautiful view of the Colosseum I am proud of myself for not being the typical American guy who goes on a hike on the weekend with his family. I broke the schemes, I was able to forget everything that was ever taught to me and I educated myself according to my schemes. I left everything I had in the US to start a new life and I have to say that I was worth it. I hope this inspires someone as just thinking about how much I have accomplished in the past year keeps motivating me.

If nothing motivates you, try this.

-Roger

The story of how I moved to Europe - Part 4

I saw two police officers at the hotels reception. My heart was beating very fast, I was shaking from top to bottom, I was sweating like never before. Just the thought of that moment brings back the most uncomfortable feeling I have ever felt. I walked quickly to the elevator, ran to my room and hid all the money that I had in the bathroom's sink, I lied in my bed and hoped to fall asleep. I heard someone knocking on my door, I pretended to be asleep. It was the police, they kept knocking. I decided to open up and I acted as if I just woke up, I was scare shitless. They had found my social security card and they had been looking for me this whole time. It felt like a big stone was just remove from my back. Those were the most scary moments of my life. I hardly fell asleep that night, I kept struggling with the sense of guilt and fear that kept harassing me for the last couple of days. The next morning I woke up later in the afternoon and I decided to go look for a job. I didn't find a job but what I found was a croupier school. Considered my love for casino games and gambling I decided to enroll. On my way back to the hotel I noticed that a bar near the Colosseum was hiring a waiter so I went for that too. See, in Italy you don't have to apply for the job first and then wait for the response, if you ask for the job and the owner of the bar decides that you are able to do the job, you get the job at the moment. I was finally starting to feel like my life was becoming balanced. The owner of the bar offered me a bed at his place in return for some English lessons. His name was Marco and that man is as dear to me as my father is. To be continued